A Generation that Doesn’t Want Relationships

By Mariana Suplicy Batista

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Millennials are said to be the generation that wants it all. They want a fun yet same time profitable job, they want to travel to incredible places, they want expensive goods, they want an exciting social life, they want countless likes on their Instagram posts —  the list is endless, but one thing that is not making to this list anytime soon, is a relationship.

Even though millennials really want it all, they have a hard time being committed to their dreams. If somehow their plans don’t go exactly as expected, they easily get frustrated and move on to a new venture. An article recently featured in Forbes talked about how millennials are constantly job-hopping because jobs don’t seem to fit their expectations. So, if millennials have a hard time dealing with unexpected issues in the workplace, why would they want to be in a relationship, which is naturally complicated and full of unexpected surprises?

This also doesn’t mean that millennials don’t date. In fact, according to the Pew Research Center, the amount of 18-to-24 millennials using online dating apps has nearly tripled since 2013. Apparently, the extremely tech-savvy and always connected group is spending a considerable amount of time on Tinder trying to get lots of matches, and consequently, dates.

But just like the process of swiping right, “matching”, chatting online for a while and going on an actual date is incredibly fast, the process of un-matching and no longer answering to the person’s texts because he or she wasn’t what you expected is even faster. The truth is that having friends with benefits, going on casual dates and “Netflix and Chilling” is a lot easier than dealing with the consequences of falling in love with someone.

The world of social media not only transformed the way people communicate with each other, but also transformed the way people treat each other — in a faster, colder and kind of disposable way. Technology was supposed to bring people together, but somehow, they are more isolated than ever.  

In a 2012 TED Talk about technology and relationships, writer and Harvard Social Studies professor Sherry Turkle declared “Human relationships are rich and they’re messy and they’re demanding. And we clean them up with technology. And when we do, one of the things that can happen is that we sacrifice conversation for mere connection. We short-change ourselves. And over time, we seem to forget this, or we seem to stop caring.”

Even though technology made millennials stop caring like Turkle said, they still want the idea of a relationship, but not the actual relationship, because in a relationship, when things get complicated, they have to face the issue and look for a solution, and they can’t just simply move onto a new one like they do with their jobs.

The truth is that Millennials want only the good things without putting any efforts to get them, which is a quite naive way of thinking, especially from a generation that is said to be the smartest and hardest to trick. Maybe, millennials are just not as mature as they thought they were.

People say love is for the strong and brave, and perhaps Millennials are not quite there yet. Someday they will.

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